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Abstract(s)
Quando sentimos que faltou qualquer coisa, o melhor é voltar a fazer. Foi esse o meu desafio. Voltar a pegar num texto que estreei enquanto actriz mas desta vez assumir o papel de encenadora. Foi necessário abdicar da minha interpretação para poder ter um olhar exterior e ficar mais atenta ao meu interior. Remexi no meu passado, li-me neste presente. Pego num texto ficcionado e crio várias metáforas onde me revejo.
Encontro a emoção e procuro encontrá-la também nas actrizes com quem trabalhei. Explorei-me e não ignorei a guerra que travo, procurando assim uma espécie de catarse.
Falo da mulher que carrega aos ombros o peso da submissão e percebo-me que sou mulher.
Voltei a pegar no texto ELAS de Rafael Polónia – ex profissional de teatro que abdicou dos palcos para ser líder de viagem - que o escreveu depois de termos terminado uma longa viagem de bicicleta e passado por países onde o convívio com as mulheres de diferentes culturas nos foi próximo. Senti necessidade em voltar a pôr em cena o ELAS mas desta vez queria que as palavras do texto chegassem ao público como que “um murro no estômago”. Senti necessidade de perceber como as mudanças na minha vida me fizeram ver
o mesmo texto. Senti necessidade de observar e observar-me enquanto encenadora.
Com as actrizes, falámos dos nossos medos, das nossas prisões, das nossas guerras, do peso que é carregar a palavra Mulher. Houve encontros onde as lágrimas corriam pela face e isso fazia-me sorrir pois há uma necessidade em dar o tal “murro no estômago” e pôr cá para fora os nossos gritos.Usei o método de Stanislavski para encontrar a verdade nas actrizes e encontrámos essa verdade, remexendo no passado. Falámos das guerras e em quem temos de “matar” para sair das nossas prisões. Trabalhámos a memória, as lembranças, os sentidos, as emoções. Levámos o corpo ao cansaço e observámos o peso das palavras.
Ao longo destas páginas encontrar-me-ão, como se tivessem acesso ao meu diário pessoal. Trago o que tenho dentro e partilho, apresentando assim uma auto-etnografia como metodologia de trabalho.
When we feel something was left undone, we must do it again. It was a challenge for me to direct a playwright which I had premiered as an actress. I had to renounce my own interpretation of the playwright in order to have a watchful eye over it and be aware of my most inner self. I harked back to my past and read my self at present. In any fictioned text I create several metaphors where I see myself. I find emotion and I ought to find it also in actresses with whom I've worked. I 've exploited myself and haven't ignored my inner war, searching therefore a kind of catharsis. I speak about the woman holding on her shoulders the weight of submission and realise I am a woman too. Rafael Polónia was a theatre professional when he decided to walk away from the stage to embrace a new life as a tour leader. We went on a long bicycle ride and seen countries where social interaction with women from different cultures was too close. I felt the need to stage "ELAS" once again but, this time, I wanted the audience to feel "a punch in the stomach"; I felt the need to see how the changes in my life altered the way I see the same playwright now; I felt the need to observe others and myself as a theatre director. With the actresses we spoke about our fears, our chains, our wars and the burden of the word Woman. There were encounters where tears were shed but that made me smile for there was the need of that same punch in the stomach and cry out. I used the Stanislavsky method to find the actresses' truth and we found it: unburying the past, speaking of the wars and of those we had to kill to unchain us. I worked on our memories, remains, feelings and emotions. We tore our body into pieces and watched the words weight. Through these pages you'll find me, as if it were my secret diary. I share what I have inside me, thus presenting to you my self-ethnography as my working methodology.
When we feel something was left undone, we must do it again. It was a challenge for me to direct a playwright which I had premiered as an actress. I had to renounce my own interpretation of the playwright in order to have a watchful eye over it and be aware of my most inner self. I harked back to my past and read my self at present. In any fictioned text I create several metaphors where I see myself. I find emotion and I ought to find it also in actresses with whom I've worked. I 've exploited myself and haven't ignored my inner war, searching therefore a kind of catharsis. I speak about the woman holding on her shoulders the weight of submission and realise I am a woman too. Rafael Polónia was a theatre professional when he decided to walk away from the stage to embrace a new life as a tour leader. We went on a long bicycle ride and seen countries where social interaction with women from different cultures was too close. I felt the need to stage "ELAS" once again but, this time, I wanted the audience to feel "a punch in the stomach"; I felt the need to see how the changes in my life altered the way I see the same playwright now; I felt the need to observe others and myself as a theatre director. With the actresses we spoke about our fears, our chains, our wars and the burden of the word Woman. There were encounters where tears were shed but that made me smile for there was the need of that same punch in the stomach and cry out. I used the Stanislavsky method to find the actresses' truth and we found it: unburying the past, speaking of the wars and of those we had to kill to unchain us. I worked on our memories, remains, feelings and emotions. We tore our body into pieces and watched the words weight. Through these pages you'll find me, as if it were my secret diary. I share what I have inside me, thus presenting to you my self-ethnography as my working methodology.
Description
Keywords
Encenação Dramaturgia portuguesa Auto ficção Mulheres Violência de género Guerra Acting Portuguese playwriting Self fiction Women Gender violence War